SANTA’S BOZO OF THE YEAR FOR 2013!

Dec. 12, 2013  By Jack Jodell.

SANTALISTWhat a long, chaotic, and eventful year it’s been. Despite the chaos of more senseless mass murders and government shutdowns, Santa and his busy elves just kept on plowing through, making wonderful gifts for good boys and girls and deserving good men and women all across the globe. Along the way, Santa’s also been bozo2013collecting nominees for his annual Bozo of the Year award. You nay recall how every year, Santa selects one person or group which, due to their stupidity or downright foolishness, is more than deserving of rodicule or scorn from normal, good-hearted people. As in most years, Santa had to sift through dozens of potential nominees to come up with a suitable list for this year. Past recipients of this notorious award have been:

2012 – Ex- Hostess Brands, Inc. CEO Gregory J. Rayburn and his entire executive board
 2011 – the entire Republican congressional caucus
2010 –
   the ridiculous and annoying Phillips “Colon Lady”
2009 – Richard Heinke, the knobhead who faked sending his young son up in a supposedly runaway hot air balloon
2008 – disgraced former Illinois Democratic governor Rod Blagojevich.
 

After many months of deliberating, Santa finally came up with this batch of clowns:

stockmanHARDLY WORTH MENTIONING AT ALL went to preposterous Texas Tea Party Rep. Steve Stockman, for calling very conservative Texas Senator John Cornyn a” liberal.” In typical Texas Republican tradition, NO lie is too insane to tell in pursuit of political office. When he finally stopped laughing at Stockman’s insanity, Santa arranged for him to go on a date with that other GOP loony, Michele Bachmann.

bozo gohmertDISHONORABLE MENTION went to Republican Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert, for the way this clown scolded a young female guard for only correctly doing her job WITHOUT PAY in keeping the public away from the  World War II Memorial during the ridiculous government shutdown which occurred earlier this year, which Gohmert himself  voted in favor of! Santa was appalled by such hypocritical political grandstanding. 

george zimmermanAnother DISHONORABLE MENTIION went to George Zimmerman, who successfully avoided a murder conviction against an unarmed black 17 year old boy named Treyvon Martin, and then became involved with assaults on his ex-wife and then his ex-girlfriend. Santa noticed how chaos always seems to surround this potential Bozo, and he does not approve of such offensive behavior! 

rodmanFormer NBA star Dennis Rodman receives 3rd Runner Up for his insane and wholly oblivious words of support for North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, and for his repeated trips made to that neurotic and desperately poor country. Never having been the brightest bulb on the tree, and at times seeming as though he must have migrated to earth from some other kind of totally wacko planet, it is hard to fathom that anybody could be so stupid as to not notice the abject poverty which exists everywhere outside of the presidential compound in North Korea, or be so naïve to accept Kim Jong-un’s propaganda at face value. Santa hopes Rodman will enjoy his stay there, and will wake up one morning finally having eyes, ears, and a brain!                  

pawn strs idiots2nd Runner Up goes to the cast of History Channel’s Pawn Stars, for the way these morons seem to screw every person they deal with while knowing next to nothing about any history of any kind at all, as well as for wasting viewers’ time with their very mediocre show. Santa can’t believe these dopes are still in business, let alone featured on a television program that airs repeatedly on a network that used to present quality programming! 

Rbob ford, mayorunner Up goes to feisty Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, who embarrassed all of Canada with his recent antics. First it was revealed that he had smoked crack cocaine, which he denied, then admitted to have done while “in a drunken stupor.”  The more he talked about the incident, the crazier he sounded, until finally his city council had had enough. The pragmatic council simply stripped him of nearly all of his mayoral powers and placed those responsibilities in the able hands of his deputy mayor. Santa decided that this oafish buffoon wasn’t worthy of this year’s grand prize, so he listed hum as Runner Up.                               

crusMiley Cyrus gets 3rd Place this year just for being the wacko Miley Cyrus. From her repeated loony hairstyles to her crazy costumes, Santa is convinced that this young lady is either an incurable showoff or is completely nuts. Either way, he is baffled as to what to do with her. As a result, he gave her 3rd Place rather than top billing, believing that she bears close scrutiny, as he may wish to pick her for next year’s top award if she doesn’t start to shape up soon.

cruz l2nd Place goes to Ted Cruz and his reactionary band of like-minded Tea Party-infested Republicans, for having staged a completely worthless and utterly pointless government shutdown  earlier this year. Santa definitely does NOT approve of political grandstanding and wasting taxpayer dollars on absolute nonsense, so this year he’ll be sending Cruz and Co. up on a very hot air balloon, which Santa hopes will come down to rest permanently somewhere in a field of Texas horse manure. That way no one will be able to tell the balloon’s occupants from their surroundings, and they will be out of government just long enough to get some meaningful and worthwhile legislation finally passed!

(Drum roll)….that leaves Santa’s Bozo of the Year for 2013 to be…

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u.s. capTHE 113th CONGRESS OF THE UNITED STATES! With the notable exception of but a tiny few true public servants, like Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Keith Ellison, Ron Wyden, Jim Clyburn, Sherrod Brown, Barbara Mikulski, Al Franken, Sheila Jackson-Lee, and the very smallest few of other forward-thinking, progressive members, this institution as a whole has wasted MILLIONS of taxpayer dollars and spent the bulk of its time on either obstruction or pandering to wealthy corporations and wealthy individuals rather than to the wants and very real needs of the majority of the American public. For being so wasteful and foolhardy, and for being the least productive Congress in all of our history, Santa will be equipping each of these other timid blue-dog Democrats and bought-out, corporate toady reactionary Republicans with specially designed barbed-wire seat cushions to sit on while they are in Washington. This will help them realize what a pain in the a– each of them has been this term to the rest of the nation. Even that is much nicer than these buffoons really truly deserve!

    

About jackjodell53

I am an American Dissident trapped in a country where poor and middle class people are constantly being exploited and lied to by a very rigid and conservative plutocratic elite. I believe in government OF, FOR, and BY the people, not one controlled as it now is by corporations and special interests.
This entry was posted in Bozo of the Year, Progressives, Tea Party, Tea Party-infested reactionary Republican Party and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to SANTA’S BOZO OF THE YEAR FOR 2013!

  1. mudrake says:

    Perfect list, Jack!

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