SANTA’S BOZO OF THE YEAR FOR 2012!

December 19, 2012  By Jack Jodell

santa and bozo listNow, where has the time gone!? It seems like only yesterday that Santa had named the entire Republican congressional  caucus to be his Bozos Of The Year for 2011, and now here it is, once bozo1more time to name a new Bozo Of The Year, this time for 2012! You may recall that each year, Santa awards one deserving person or group his Bozo Of The Year award in recognition of  their utter stupidity, outlandishness, or foolhardiness. In so doing, he has deemed them worthy of scorn or ridicule for the clown-like behavior they exhibited throughout the year. Past recipients have been:

2011 – the entire Republican congressional caucus
2010 –
   the ridiculous and annoying Phillips “Colon Lady”
2009 – Richard Heinke, the knobhead who faked sending his young son up in a supposedly runaway hot air balloon
2008 – disgraced former Illinois Democratic governor Rod Blagojevich.

With this year’s bumper crop of potential Bozos, Santa was forced to multi-task nearly every day so he could review them while hurriedly and exhaustingly attempting to ready his sleigh with special gifts for all the good little children and deserving adults throughout the world. It wasn’t easy – in fact, it took Santa months and weeks of weeding through an enormous list of nuts, frauds, and downright kooks, but Santa finally whittled down his list to include:

1). The entire Republican congressional caucus – AGAIN. Yes, Santa was very concerned because this group of potential Bozos, through their constant filibustering and obstruction, ended up being the most unproductive group of congresspersons in all of U.S. history! Santa was sickened by the hundreds of thousands of man-hours they wasted and the literal millions of dollars taxpayers had wasted on their overblown salaries. But Santa long ago had decided that no one person or group could receive his award consecutively, so he committed himself to searching elsewhere.

2). Mohamed Morsi, the new President of Egypt, who wasted little time after winning his election to effectively declaring himself Egypt’s new dictator. Santa was very disenchanted at how, after the tumultous Arab Spring of last year, with her people demanding true democracy at last, this overly-ambitious cheap Egyptian politician would so quickly and boldly attempt to pull off a sordid Hosni Mubarak imitation. Because the entire Middle East situation is so volatile (and due to the turbulent nature of the Egyptian government’s response), Santa has wisely decided to sit this one out and let it simmer for a bit. 

3).  The owners, program buyers, and program directors of the H1 and H2 cable channels (formerly the History Channel and History Channel International).  Santa was thoroughly disgusted that this group had allowed these two  once-admirable television channels to descend to the depths of featuring preposterous programs like “Ancient Aliens”, “Swamp People”, “Countdown to Apocalypse”,”Ice Road Truckers”, “UFO Hunters”, “Cajun Pawn Stars”, “Haunted History”, and “Hairy Bikers”, all under the pretense that they somehow contributed meaningful or valuable historical information. But Santa decided not to award these peddlers of pseudo-historical trash anything at all. He chose instead to ignore them altogether and simply move on.

4). The group of supposed Vikings who are over-pushing Capital One’s new “Spark” credit card in television ads. While far from being prudish, Santa  thinks that this continued push by these Bozos for more personal debt is a bad idea at this time. He feels this bunch has just about run its course anyway, so he has decided to equip them with a brand new boat they can hopefully sail off into oblivion on. 

5). John McCain.   Santa has noticed this doddering old Senator’s penchant for visiting every conceivable Sunday TV political news program he can, and correctly concluded that McCain simply enjoys the attention he gets when spouting off his nonsensical bull. The solution? Santa decided to provide this old coot with his own personal spotlight, so McCain can shine it on himself whenever the urge strikes him.

So much for the preliminaries.  With these out of the way, in this year’s DISHONORABLE MENTION category, Santa chose the 2012 group of Republican presidential primary contestants.  Why? Because this group of losers proved themselves to be nearly universally without brains, common sense, or human warmth. From Ron Paul to  Rick Santorum to Michele Bachmann to Rick Perry, this group of absolute wacko extremists proved that they have neither the proper mindset nor the intellect required to deserve even one term in the White House. Santa therefore decided to let them simply wallow in the totally mundane obscurity each of them deserves. 

west firedTHIRD RUNNER-UP this year goes to newly defeated one-term ex-congressman Allen West of Florida, for his groundless claim that 80 of his Democratic congressional peers were card-carrying members of the Communist Party. For spouting off such utter nonsense, Santa has decided to give West a new Oral Fire Extinguisher, which he hopes will be used the next time West thinks about making such blatantly incendiary remarks in the future.

goony gomertSECOND RUNNER-UP has been awarded to Texas congressman Louis Gohmert for the many baseless claims HO! HO! HO!he has made, especially his latest one: that President Obama has had Muslim Brotherhood advisors giving him advice. For this bit of nonsensical blabbering, Santa has decided to reward Gohmert with a free trip to the nearest Psychiatrist’s office. 

bp bullshitFIRST RUNNER-UP goes to the creators of the lying BP television ad earlier this year which touted the great fishing, hospitality, and record tourist season the past year in four Gulf states. Santa decided to give each of them Pinocchio noses and his strongest condemnation for this massive deception, for he and we all know full well that the Gulf of Mexico is still polluted with oil, the fish and shrimp are still unsafe to eat, and children all along the Gulf are still getting sick from the poisons they have ingested thanks to the BP oil spill in 2010!

adelson the arrogant creepSanta awarded THIRD PLACE to Sheldon Adelson, the grumpy and arrogant old Las Vegas billionaire, for thinking that his personal $100 million expenditure could actually buy him the election results he wanted personally. For this foolish expenditure, Santa will be giving Adelson a diamond-studded dunce cap!

Romney and  RUINSanta decided that SECOND PLACE should be  given to the 2012 GOP presidential team of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan: Romney, for thinking he could lie his way into the White House and for his secretive hiding of millions of dollars of profits in overseas bank accounts; and Ryan for his twisted Ayn Rand anti-government and anti-poor biases. Santa has decided to give these two absolutely nothing, as they, being upper 1% multimillionaires, both already have far more than the 99% majority of Americans well below them on the income scale

That, then,  leaves only this year’s GRAND PRIZE WINNER, the 2012 recipient of Santa’s Bozo of the Year Award, who is:
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rayburn the greedy pigGREGORY J. RAYBURN, former CEO of the now-defunct Hostess Brands, Inc., and all of his other executive board members, for their very bad decision to close down the company only one month before Christmas, forcing unemployment on their 18,000+ workers, and then pressing for a $1.8 MILLION BONUS  for this entire sorry executive board, the very scoundrels who refused to contribute millions into the company’s pension plans last year, and who had asked these employees to take a 20% PAY CUT THIS year!  In view of the fact that the bankruptcy court had permitted this company closure as well as the hefty, undeserved executive bonuses, Santa will be placing a very messy, very large lump of coal in each of these executives’ stockings, right on top of their $1.8 million bonus checks! He will also be granting all of them a very deserved, unspecified period of guilt-caused indigestion! For this CEO and his henchmen have proven themselves to be a group of REAL BOZOS!  

santa goodbyeMERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU, DEAR READERS! I’ll be back with you again in a few days. Have a very happy and healthy holiday season, and I’ll be in touch real soon!  HO! HO! HO!       

About jackjodell53

I am an American Dissident trapped in a country where poor and middle class people are constantly being exploited and lied to by a very rigid and conservative plutocratic elite. I believe in government OF, FOR, and BY the people, not one controlled as it now is by corporations and special interests.
This entry was posted in Bozo of the Year, Mitt Romney, THE MAJORITY 99% and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to SANTA’S BOZO OF THE YEAR FOR 2012!

  1. Max's Dad says:

    Love it, Jack. Listening to the “liberal media” constantly tell everybody their Twinkies went away because of the “unions” was infuriating. You nailed it. As usual. Have a great holiday season!

  2. JollyRoger says:

    LaPecker deserves some kind of title. I’m still spitting mad.

    • jackjodell53 says:

      Happy holidays, Jolly Roger! I share your disgust and anger. Rather than wasting a title on him, how about if he and his NRA remain totally ignored and become thoroughly ineffectual from this point forward? Keep up the great work next year! 🙂

  3. swa44 says:

    A very good read, as always, Jack. The Hostess CEO and executives deserve their lumps of coal, all right. But I think if they were capable of feeling guilt they might not have ended up deserving their Bozo Award. I don’t think Gregory J. Rayburn and his cronies have any more of a conscience than they have any business management talent. What they do have, clearly, is greed and selfishness.

    The field of potential contenders was huge this year, so I’m sure the choices weren’t easy. I am surprised the Koch brothers and Karl Rove failed to make the final list. All three really outperformed. But then, I’m sure all three will be in the running for the 2013 award.

    Jack, I wish you a terrific Christmas and a great new year in 2013.

    • swa44 says:

      I meant to include in my comment what a pot of rot the H2 channel has become. Nonstop apocalypse/End Times, sky-is-fallng, prepping for Armageddon crap to fuel the fears, suspicions and dark ravings of kooks and crackpots. While they are all too numerous, I’ll bet H2’s ratings trail those of the all-jewelry and all-knives commercial channels. They should trail them, anyway.

      • jackjodell53 says:

        S.W.,
        Thank you for your well thought-out comment. Clearly, Rove and the Koch brothers deserved consideration, but “Santa” decided to let Sheldon Adelson take the rap for all of those greedy lying crooks. The H2 channel wouldn’t fit the much-loftier standards of your average, everyday mental institution, so I agree fully with you on that. A VERY merry Christmas and a fabulous new year to you, too, sir, and please keep up the spectacular work on your blog!

  4. Nice piece, Jack.
    You know, I almost have mixed feelings about the gangster CEOs at Hostess Brands. On the one hand, I find these people to be scumbags. But on the other hand, the cynic in me relishes the long-term effects of what these crooks are doing. They’re destroying the middle class. Which is just another way of saying that they are destroying American-style capitalism. Without a strong, healthy middle class around to buy the products that the system produces, U.S. capitalism is headed for the dustbin of history. And frankly, that is where it belongs. It is an evil and immoral system. I’ve seen other, more humane systems first-hand (like what one finds in northern Europe) and that’s really what we need here. But we need to destroy the current system first. And the ironic thing is, the gangster capitalists are doing a good job of that now.
    Have a good holiday season, Jack!

    • jackjodell53 says:

      Marc,
      You and I are on the sane page regarding the way capitalism is practiced in America. It is a shamefully greedy abd dishonest system which preys on workers and the poor for the benefit of cynical rich men who will do and say anything to get what they believe is all theirs. They are now trying to deceptively force austerity all across the globe.

      Happy holidays to you, too, Marc. Let us hope and strive for a more economically honest and just world in 2013!

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