By Jack Jodell, May 17, 2012
Politics, especially here in America, can be a very confusing thing, especially for the dull-witted or poorly informed. For all poluticians lie; only some lie more often and far better than others. Political parties and special interest groups lie as well, each trying to trick unsuspecting potential voters into voting for their preferred slate of candidates. But some parties and groups, notably the modern far-right Republican Party and its extremely wealthy backers, lie so blatantly and to such an extent it defies reality. For this reason, I have decided with this post to set the story straight in a language that nearly all can understand. To do this, I will employ certain universally-known comic characters from our childhood days. Any similarity between these characters, be it real or imagined, is purely coincidental.
Once upon a time, (and that time is now), there lived a fabulously wealthy man named Mitt Romney (aka Richie Rich). Mr. Romney, having been raised in wealth – his father was the former president and CEO of American Motors and ex-governor of Michigan George Romney (aka Daddy Warbucks) – never was fully able to understand the fact that there were other, less fortunate people in the world, far below him on the income scale. In fact, he quickly dismissed these folks as being mere servants, hired hands, or recipients of a social safety met he had no real time for. Mitt followed his daddy’s advice and became rich also, first by attending all the best schools and then by becoming appointed CEO of a predatory capitalist firm called Bain Capital. While at Bain, Richie Rich grew even richer by stuffing millions of dollars in his pocket while simultaneously bankrupting a number of American companies, shipping their work force’s jobs over to China, and pushing those laborers onto unemployment. Isn’t capitalism (particularly as practiced by Romney) great, and don’t you love how neatly it works? The rich get richer, and workers go straight to hell. Let me not fail to mention that young Richie Rich also followed Daddy Warbucks’ advice by joining the Republican Party, and then serving one term as the governor of Massachusetts, following his daddy’s example all the way. This experience led Mitt to believe he was capable of, and deserving of, even higher office – that of President of the United States.
A lot of other rich people, namely the “Little Lottas” David and Charles Koch, took over the Republican Party along the way. They believed it was their right to contribute millions and millions of dollars to political candidates who hated the federal government’s regulatory role in business, banking, and energy just as they did. To this end, they loosely joined forces with Tom Donohue’s virulently anti-labor Chamber of Commerce, as well as with the government-hating fat-cat trust- funder Grover Norquist, another rich son of a wealthy former Polaroid vice president, whose aim is to starve the federal government, through spending cutbacks and refusals to raise taxes for any reason, to the point where it can be shrunk down and drowned in a bathtub. That’s right, folks: gone would be Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, Planned Parenthood, various other social welfare programs, and even public education. All just so wealthy business owners like the Koch Brothers, huge multinational corporations like BP and ExxonMobil, and huge multibranch banks like Bank of America and JP MorganChase could run roughshod over all the world, completely unhampered by any federal regulation whatsoever. It would mean unrestricted “free market” capitalism, and it would spell economic doom to America’s poor and working/middle classes.
You can always tell a Republican by the misleading lies they tell. Wisconsin’s soon-to-be-recalled (I sure hope!) governor Scott Walker (aka the slick deceiver Eddie Haskell) is a perfect example of this. Walker campaigned, and narrowly won on, a pledge to make the state more business-friendly to create a record number of new jobs. What he sneakily failed to tell the voters was that he would be destroying government employees’ collective bargaining rights and giving massive tax breaks to corporations to do so. Oddly enough, all his underhanded tactics have achieved so far have been to seriously polarize the state while adding to the unemployment rolls and creating a DECLINE in Wisconsin’s job rates! THAT, ladies and gentlemen, and boys and girls, is why you should NEVER trust any Republican who talks about “pro growth” or “right to work” or “free market” economic policies. For these are code words which really mean sending your job overseas, destroying your right to collectively bargain for a fair wage, or giving corporations the right to do whatever they please at your expense! A final note on Walker: he has amassed a record-breaking, whopping $25.3 MILLION in his bid to avoid being recalled, the vast majority of which has come from right-wingers FAR OUTSIDE OF WISCONSIN, like the nototious “Little Lotta” Koch Brothers and others! Does this sound like a man who firmly has his state’s or workers in general’s best interests in mind? Hardly.
Yet another seriously misguided servant of the rich who is seeking to establish these renegade far-right Republicans as the nation’s majority party is the nerdy, fat-faced Karl Rove (aka Porky Pig). He has created a huge, secretive political action committee called American Crossroads for millionaires and billioinaires to donate into privately. The funds they donate by the millions will be used to create and air slanted, lying TV and radio ads designed to turn independent voters against both the President and progressive, liberal, Democratic candidates in general. For this reason, it is best for you to IGNORE ALL POLITICAL ADS FROM NOW UNTIL ELECTION DAY COMPLETELY. Watching or listening to them will guarantee you will be assaulted with misleading half-truths and distortions which will trick you into voting against what is fair and truthful, namely for that which is against your own self-interest. That’s right, my friends: listening to and watching these far-right ads will cause you to vote for the wishes of the ultra rich 1% top of the income scale rather than for the vastly more beneficial-to-you progressive slate of fair-minded, sensible candidates!
When in doubt this election year, check things out with reliable sources rather than believing some bigoted, doctored, or downright false email some lying idiots have created and sent to your friends which they have mindlessly forwarded to you! Check out sources like Fact Check.org (http://www.factcheck.org/). You can also try Snopes.com (http://www.snopes.com/) . There are many others you can, should, and MUST try to determine whether or not a political claim is true or false. BE SMART THIS YEAR: YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF!