SANTA’S BOZO OF THE YEAR FOR 2011!

 By Jack Jodell, Dec. 13, 2011

Well, it’s that time of year again. All year long, Santa and his elves have worked extra hard to make presents for all the little children, and gifts for the rest of us. Up at his North Pole headquarters, Santa is worried that he may soon have to move his entire operation to, say  –  CHINA. Why? Because the Global Warming phenomenon the Republicans all insist does not exist, or is a sinister plot devised by liberals, environmentalists, and AL GORE, is starting to shrink the polar ice cap, and all the ice around Santa’s HQ is starting to get slushy. In fact, now Santa, just like Sarah Palin, can see Russia from his house!

Poor Santa has also been fretting about the overwhelming number of BOZOS he’s had to think about this year. For, if you recall, each year at this time, he awards one deserving fool his BOZO OF THE YEAR award, in honor of the person or persons who have deservedly gained notoriety for either their stupidity, their outlandishness, or their outright foolishness. These are all, my friends, the biggest clowns for the whole year. If you remember, 2010’s recipient was the utterly ridiculous Phillips “COLON LADY”, who runs around in airports, libraries, classrooms, and formal social gatherings, unabashedly telling people how they can avoid bad gas, constipation, and diarrhea. In 2009 it was RICHARD HEINKE, the buffoon who grabbed media attention by pretending to launch his son up in a hot-air balloon which soon became a runaway balloon, when in reality his son was perfectly safe, napping in his attic at home.  And, in 2008, it was ROD BLAGOJEVICH, the publicity and profit seeking Democratic ex-governor of Illinois who was ousted for trying to sell Barack Obama’s old Senate seat to the highest bidder. Now who, pray tell, might the winner be THIS year? After all, those are tough acts to follow!

Santa originally thought disgraced  assistant football coach JERRY  SANDUSKY of PENN STATE, allegedly guilty of pedophelia many times over, to be a prime candidate for this year’s award, then he thought of fired head coach JOE PATERNO, who allegedly condoned such behavior for years. But then he realized it was the entire culture of cronyism among collegiate athletic departments which was the real guilty culprit by allowing such a disgrace to flourish. Since the award cannot go to abstract entities, he dropped the idea altogether and began to once again ponder other actual persons.

For a time, Santa considered Fox “News” commentator BILL O’REILLY, for making the insane claim that the OCCUPY WALL STREET movement was dead, even though the night he said that it was parading in Manhattan with its highest number to date, and still shows no signs of let-up. Santa dismissed Billo from consideration because this was just another in a long, VERY long line of recurrent false pronouncements and failed predictions O’Reilly has made.

Santa was also thinking of MICHELE BACHMANN, for making the bogus claim that some woman had come up to her and said that her daughter had become a victim of “mental retardation”  after having been innoculated at school with a vaccine to prevent cervical cancer. He thought about how ridiculously she had screwed up the date of Elvis’ death with his birthday, as well as many other gaffes. Santa simply shook his head, considered the source, and then began to reexamine his list, knowing that Bachmann is bat-shit crazy herself anyway.

At one point, Santa was actively considering FLO, THE PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE LADY. But the more he thought about her, the more it became clear that she was just a mere annoyance on TV, and, while she is constantly bugging everybody with that horrible hairstyle and way-overly made-up face, she really wasn’t hurting anybody, so he decided to pass her over too.

When it came to Texas governor and Republican presidential hopeful RICK PERRY, Santa thought he had found the right man. But the more he thought about it, even though Perry’s gaffes more than qualified him for the award, it was his gargantuan, Texas-sized ignorance and ego which made Perry unsuitable for ANY award Santa might give. So he simply threw Perry into the wastebasket, knowing that soon a number of Iowa voters will do the exact same thing.

Santa briefly considered the fat and greedy trust-funder son of a former Polaroid vice- president, the smug GROVER NORQUIST. He was especially irked by the way Norquist had publicly stated he had the desire to cut funding to the federal government to where it would shrink down to a size that could be strangled in his bathtub. Santa even refused to sign Norquist’s preposterous pledge to never raise taxes no matter what, and warns all legislators at every level of government what a bozo-like undertaking THAT would be! After careful consideration, Santa decided against giving this spoiled slob even one more bit of attention or notoriety.

Santa was dumbfounded and appalled to learn that the UC Davis police actually pepper-sprayed non-violent, peaceful, SITTING students during their recent protest against constant, unnecessary tuition hikes. He correctly recognized this as an unprovoked, paramilitary  action that was such an incredible Bozo move it defied logic. Santa was so flustered by this he couldn’t even rank it for an award, for actions like that deserve no award whatsoever!

Time was wasting away, though, and Santa was in a pickle with so many candidates to consider this year. He knew he had to decide quickly…

So he awarded DISHONORABLE MENTION to Illinois 8th District Republican congressman JOE WALSH. Why? Because this Bozo, barely halfway through what will be his ONLY two-year term, went to a pizza parlor in his district and began SHOUTING AT HIS CONSTITUENTS! Claiming later that he was ravenously hungry and overloaded  with caffeine, he nonetheless told one person to shut up “or I’ll have to ask you to leave!” What? From a pizza parlor Walsh didn’t even own? THAT was a DEFINITE Bozo move!

THIRD PLACE went to the ever- cold hearted, ethics-challenged ex-Speaker of the House NUT GINGRICH. When Santa heard Nut’s recent comment on how the OCCUPY WALL STREET potesters needed to simply “Get a job after you first take a bath”, he knew just how uncaring and  pompously arrogant the  completely out of touch and ignorant Gingrich really is. First of all, because many of the protesters WANT jobs but there are simply no decent jobs to be had; secondly because these people are NOT by and large a bunch of disheveled, lazy malcontents; and thirdly, because it was Gingrich’s failed Republican economic policies which CAUSED their massive job losses in the first place! Santa was tempted to swoop down and gather Gingrich up and dump him into the ocean, but then he realized how empty the holiday season would be without a few nuts to go around. Therefore, the soft-hearted Santa simply decided to give Nut third place and a guarantee that this egotistical little peacock will NEVER become President!

Santa gave SECOND PLACE to the Republican arch-conservative governor of Wisconsin, SCOTT WALKER. For Santa was neither pleased nor amused at how Walker railroaded a bill stripping his public employees of their right to collectively bargain through the Wisconsin legislature, using questionable methods all the while. Santa was ready to give Walker FIRST Place, but then he realized Wisconsin voters will very soon BOOT this hardcore stooge of the Koch brothers out of office for good, and the Wisconsin state workers and middle class will be avenged. Besides, Santa soon realized that Walker was merely small potatoes. Santa then decided to award this year’s FIRST PLACE spot to a very much bigger and broader entity . . .
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SANTA’S 2011 BOZO OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES, COLLECTIVELY AND MOST DESERVEDLY THIS YEAR OF 2011, TO THE ENTIRE REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL CAUCUS!  For a while, Santa thought of including wimpy and weak-kneed Democratic and Independent fellow colleagues like BEN NELSON and Joe LIEberman, but then it dawned on him how reckless, incorrigible, and downright foolish the REAL culprits were. These were the uncooperative, unyielding, UNPRODUCTIVE bloc of conservative Republican and Tea Party Congresspersons who said NO to almost everythimg, failed to create even ONE jobs bill (even though they had promised to create jobs all through the 2010 in-between elections), and who uniformly refused to raise taxes on the very rich, in spite of how the ridiculous Bush tax cuts FOR the rich had pumped many billions of dollars UP the economic scale for the past 10 years. While the poor grow even more desperate, and the middle class continues to shrink in the face of ever-rising medical, energy, housing, and groceries costs, these Teapublicans want to further add to the misery by pushing for a huge rollback on much-needed federal programs which benefit the lower 99%! To make it even worse, they are not asking for even one more cent from those of the 1% who can easily afford it! Yes, Santa decided to call out the ERIC CANTORs, the DARRELL ISSAs, the JOHN BOEHNERs, the JOE WILSONs, the SPENCER BACHUSes, the MARSHA BLACKBURNs, the VIRGINIA FOXXes, the JOE BARTONs, the KEVIN McCARTHYs, the PAUL RYANs, the  MITCH McCONNELLs, the JON KYLs, the LINDSAY GRAHAMs, the MIKE PENCEs, the  JOHN CORNYNs, the MARCO RUBIOs, the RAND PAULs, the JOHN McCAINs, the JIM DeMINTs, the DAVID VITTERsALL of them – ALL who have continued to suck a hefty salary at the public teat while doing absolutely NOTHING to hustify that bloated salary! Santa is encouraging everybody to vote AGAINST these Republicans next year, or whenever they come up for reelection next time! For each of them is an ABSOLUTE and undeniable BOZO!

With that long task finished, Santa is going to wish all of you HAPPY HOLIDAYS and he will start to load up his sleigh. HO! HO! HO!, everybody, and to all a good night!

About jackjodell53

I am an American Dissident trapped in a country where poor and middle class people are constantly being exploited and lied to by a very rigid and conservative plutocratic elite. I believe in government OF, FOR, and BY the people, not one controlled as it now is by corporations and special interests.
This entry was posted in Bush tax cuts for the rich, conservative Republicans, economics, Fox "News", Politics, Scott Walker, Tea Party and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to SANTA’S BOZO OF THE YEAR FOR 2011!

  1. Darlene says:

    It would be funny if it weren’t so sad. Bozos all and to all a good night.

  2. jackjodell53 says:

    Darlene,
    I agree. A very nerry Christmas to you and yours, in spite of all these Bozos! 🙂

  3. Stimpson says:

    Far be it from me to second-guess Santa, but I would have picked Trump.

    Merry Christmas, Mr. Jodell.

    • jackjodell53 says:

      And a Merry Christmas to you, too, Mr. Stimpson! Like I said, Santa had a helluva time this year. It seemed that Bozos were literally coming up from thin air at every turn!

  4. Hello Jack,
    So many good candidates and so hard to choose just one.

    Speaking of Bozos, when I got up this morning the latest news was that Christine “I am not a witch anymore” O’Donnell is throwing her support behind Mitt Romney…..Like anyone cares what this “Blowhard Bimbo” has an opinion of. Needless to say, this was my motivation for my posting today on my site.

  5. phatdaddy51 says:

    when i coment on hp or yahoo i try to be as sarcastic, tongue in cheek and to the point as you are, jack.
    if i were ever as good as you are i’d be doing something else for a living.
    you’ve hit on all the same buttons that several million of us would’ve hit,nicely done.

  6. Dave Dubya says:

    As a Flo Fan, I plead her case as an entertainer, not a malevolent Bozo. And after all, she has a “progressive” employer.

  7. See the LINDYGATE case in Texas. United States Department of Justice case DJ- 144- 74- 6219 murder of federal informant Lindy Honerkamp pertaining to the “break in” into government computer databases, and the cover up principal used by Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott committing Medicaid fraud, and other reprehensible acts of retaliation against Carol Ann Davis in Harris County, Texas. See Harris County misdemeanor case 174264 and Greg Abbott’s ‘executive privilege ‘ to cover up and other cover up of false charges. Lindy suffered retaliation and intimidation due to her assistance to federal law enforcement in a federal criminal case of conspiracy filed against former Texas Speaker of the House Gus Mutscher infamous for the SHARPSTOWN Bank fraud scandal otherwise known as the Shadow on the Alamo. But the U.S. v Gus Mutscher H- 91-175 is not widely known; in fact it’s like a dirty little secret in the state of Texas. Lindy Harrison Honerkamp is the ex-wife of Texas Ethics Commissioner Attorney Warren “Tom” Harrison. Tom Harrison owed Lindy over $ 250,000 in back child support. The court RICO victims hold the truths of the document evidence of a fraudulent identity, murder base in fact and law, and a forged thumbprint to be self evident including violations of “fair use” among other violations of state and federal law risking national security by manufacturing fraudulent identities to obtain wrongful convictions, and other crimes of extortion, police, prosecutorial, judicial misconduct including ‘defense’ lawyer misconduct. In the early 1990’s FBI Agent Ron Stern solicited Carol Ann Davis. Finally U.S. Senator John Cornyn has taken an interest since 2007 and has seen the very damaging evidence against the state of Texas and the ugly realities of the crimes committed against the children of the State of Texas.

    • jackjodell53 says:

      Lindygatecase,
      Now what, pray tell, does any of this have to do with the Santa’s Bozo of the Year Award for 2011? Please don’t clutter up this blog with a non-relevant comment like this, or you’ll risk being named Santa’s Bozo for 2012!

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