By Jack Jodell, Nov. 27. 2011
This being Sunday, and having just passed Thanksgiving, I thought it would be appropriate to remember ancient scripture today, albeit in a slightly updated fashion. I thought, were Moses alive in this time and place, these would probably be the Ten Commandments God would NOW give him for modern-day believers to follow:
II. THOU SHALT NOT WORSHIP FALSE GODS LIKE PAST DEAD PRESIDENTS, ENTERTAINMENT FIGURES, OR SPORTS HEROES!
III. THOU SHALT NOT TAKE MY NAME IN VAIN BY USING IT TO JUSTIFY PERSECUTION OF OTHERS, ACTS OF WARFARE, TORTURE, OR THE PURSUIT OF PROFIT!
IV. REMEMBER THE SABBATH DAY AND KEEP IT HOLY. DO NOT EXPLOIT THE POOR OR MIDDLE CLASS IN THEIR EMPLOYMENT FOR YOUR OWN SELFISH GAIN!
V. HONOR THY FATHER AND THY MOTHER, AND DO NOT PRIVATIZE THEIR SOCIAL SECURITY, MEDICARE, OR MEDICAID, FOR DOING SO WILL BRING GREAT HARM TO THEM AND ALL THEIR DESCENDANTS IN THE FUTURE!
VI. THOU SHALT NOT KILL, ENGAGE IN AGGRESSIVE WARS FOR PLUNDER AND PROFIT, TORTURE, OR PRACTICE THE DEATH PENALTY!
VII. THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTERY, UNDERPAY, RAPE, OR SEXUALLY ABUSE WOMEN OR CHILDREN!
VIII. THOU SHALT NOT STEAL, CHEAT WORKERS OF A FAIR PAY SCALE, DEPRIVE THEM OF THE RIGHT TO ORGANIZE AND JOIN LABOR UNIONS, OR FALSIFY THY TAXES BY CLAIMING UNLAWFUL DEDUCTIONS OR MISREPORTING OR HIDING PROFITS!
IX. THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS AGAINST THY NEIGHBOR, ESPECIALLY IN POLITICAL CAMPAIGNS!
X. THOU SHALT NOT COVET ANOTHER’S POSESSIONS; THOU SHALT INSTEAD ALWAYS SHARE WITH OTHERS!
These Commandments were updated, of course, simply for the benefit of the neoconservatives, teabaggers, piggish crony capitalists, bigots, homophobes, Islamophobes, pseudo-Christians, lying and selfish politicians, and dishonest Fox “News” guests, commentators, managers, and owners – each of whom has apparently forgotten all about or twisted and distorted their own first set.