By Jack Jodell, July 7, 2011
MUSEUM OF SELFISH PEOPLE
CHILD: Why did we come here, Grandpa?
GRANDPA: I wanted to show you something before you got too old, honey. This is the MUSEUM OF SELFISH PEOPLE.
CHILD: Who are all of those people? They look mean and scary.
GRANDPA: Sweetheart, they ARE mean and scary. And I hope you never grow up to be like one of them!
CHILD: O Grandpa, I WON’T!
GRANDPA: I sure hope you don’t, little angel. But sometimes when certain people get older, they start to think only of themselves, never anybody else. They forget how important it is to SHARE.
CHILD: God wants us to share, doesn’t He, Grandpa?
GRANDPA: He sure does. But sometimes, when certain people start making a lot of money, they get thinking only of themselves and get mad at people who ask them, or try to make them, share. They take most of the money for themselves and cause a lot of other people to become poor. They become their own fake gods.
CHILD: But Jesus loved poor people, didn’t He, Grandpa? Don’t these people love them too?
GRANDPA: No, honey, unfortunately they don’t. Some of them look down on the poor and even try to twist what Jesus taught to fit their own beliefs.
CHILD: Is making money bad?
GRANDPA: No, little one. It is only bad when you steal from others to get it or when you cheat the government to get it, or when it becomes the only thing that is important to you in your life.
CHILD: Ohhhhh… Grandpa, who is that lady on the left?
GRANDPA: That’s Michele Bachmann. She’s running for President.
CHILD: For PRESIDENT? REALLY? But she looks CRAZY!
GRANDPA: Many people believe she is. But, really, she is ust a selfish person who loves money and follows false prophets. They tell her she is doing what Jesus wants by looking down on other people. She isn’t all bad, though. Nobody is. She DID adopt and raise a big family of foster children, and that wasn’t selfish.
CHILD: Who’s that guy next to her? He looks mean!
GRANDPA: That’s Dick Cheney. He was vice president a while back, and he IS mean! He told lies so the country could go to war in Iraq, and many innocent people and soldiers were killed and crippled. All he cares about are rich people. He is a VERY bad man! We call men like him “war criminals.”
CHILD: What about that nasty looking cowboy? Who is he?
GRANDPA: He is Dick Armey. He’s a friend of rich people who set up a fake group called the Tea Party, in order to fool voters into voting his way in the last election!
CHILD: How about that man with the book next to him?
GRANDPA: He’s Paul Ryan, and he wants to keep old retired and sick people who can’t work anymore, like your grandma and me, from getting government checks to live on or pay for our doctors and medicine with. He’d rather we take and give our money to his rich friends so they can gamble with it, and maybe even lose it!
CHILD: How about that guy with his finger up, and that mean-looking lady next to him?
GRANDPA: That’s Scott Walker, the governor of Wisconsin, and Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska. HE lied to voters about what he was going to do after he got elected, and he rewarded rich companies with tax breaks and then laid people off who worked for his state. He’s trying to make it very hard for the other workers to get better pay, especially teachers. SHE quit her job as governor to travel all over the country to sell a book she had written for her by somebody else to make lots of money. All she cares about is making money and appearing in front of TV cameras. She’ll say or do ANYTHING to have people notice her. She’s kind of a show-off.
CHILD: How about that fat guy with the beard? Who’s he, Grandpa?
GRANDPA: That’s Grover Norquist, and he hates the government, the same government who delivers our mail, runs our schools, builds and fixes our roads, and helps take care of your grandma and me. He doesn’t believe anybody should have to pay taxes, and the guy next to him is David Koch, one of the richest men in the country. He also hates our government just like Grover does, and they both want to starve it to death by cutting taxes so low the government will go out of business.
CHILD: Wowwww. Grandpa, if these guys hate our government so much, why aren’t they in jail?
GRANDPA: Good question, honey, but it’s not that easy to put people in jail. They DO have the freedom to speak their opinions, even if that opinion is wrong, plus, being very rich, they just buy out certain people in the government. See that next man? He’s Tom Donohue, the president of the Chamber of Commerce.
GRANDPA: Tom Donohue. Remember when your daddy lost his job last year and the factory he worked for moved to China? This was the guy who said it was ok for that to happen. He believes in what they call “free market economics” and he, too, hates it when the government clamps down on business. He doesn’t care about what happens to workers so long as the company owners make a lot of money.
CHILD: Then he’s a very bad man for saying it was ok to do that to my daddy! We had to go without air conditioning last summer when it was so hot because daddy couldn’t afford it. And we had to sell mommy’s car, too!
GRANDPA: Yeah, I felt bad you had to do without all those things last year.That’s what these rich guys call “belt tightening.” They don’t care about you at all, and they never have to tighten their OWN belts. That’s why they all say it’s good for you, and the GOVERNMENT, to have to tighten your belts, as long as THEY don’t have to.
CHILD: Who’s that next crazy-looking guy, Grandpa? Is he related to that first crazy lady Bachmann, and is HE running for President too?
GRANDPA: The answer to both of your questions is no, dear. He and Michele Bachmann aren’t related, but they are both rich and don’t care about those without money. They don’t want the government to help poor people. And he’s not running for President, which is a good thing, because hee IS crazy, He not only hates the government, he thinks people in it are out to get him and to destroy our country. He’s SO crazy, in fact, that he was kicked off of TV for telling big lies about the President!
CHILD: What about this last man? Why is he crying?
GRANDPA: He’s John Boehner, and he’s a big crybaby. I’d like to believe he’s crying because so many of his rich friends hate the President, the government, paying taxes, and working people like us, but I know better than that. I’d like to believe that he’s crying out of shame for the childish way he and the other rich people in Congress held up or didn’t pass laws which would help people like us and help rebuild our country’s office buildings, roads, and bridges, or because he didn’t do anything to put people back to work, even though he said that would be his first job after the last election. But I know better than that, too. I think he’s just crying because he’s emotionally immature and too dumb to know he and his rich friends are headed in the wrong direction.
CHILD: Grandpa, can we leave here now? I’m getting tired of these people.
GRANDPA: Sure, honey, we can go. I’ve been tired of them myself for a very long time!
CHILD: Good. Besides selfish, Grandpa, what do we call these kind of people?
GRANDPA: We call them CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICANS. When you get older, promise me you’ll NEVER VOTE FOR THEM! They are BAD FOR AMERICA!
CHILD: I promise, Grandpa…they ARE bad!